In your last video, you said that you are usually "pretty asexual", but it's your partner that inspires you to have sex. Have you in the past ever identified as gray-a/demisexual?
First, some information!
Gray-A:?Asexuality and sexuality are not black and white; some people identify in the gray (spelled ?grey? in some countries) area between them. People who identify as gray-A can include, but are not limited to those who:
do not normally experience sexual attraction, but do experience it sometimes experience sexual attraction, but a low sex drive experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific circumstances Similarly, some people who might technically belong to the gray area choose to identify as asexual because it is easier to explain. For example, if someone has experienced sexual attraction on one or two brief, fleeting occasions in their life, they might prefer to call themselves asexual because it is not worth the bother of having to explain these one or two occasions to everyone who asks about their orientation.?
Demisexual:
?A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. It?s more commonly seen in but by no means confined to romantic relationships. The term demisexual comes from the orientation being ?halfway between? sexual and asexual. Nevertheless, this term does not mean that demisexuals have an incomplete or half-sexuality, nor does it mean that sexual attraction without emotional connection is required for a complete sexuality. In general, demisexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender; however, when a demisexual is emotionally connected to someone else (whether the feelings are romantic love or deep friendship), the demisexual experiences sexual attraction and desire, but only towards the specific partner or partners.
When describing demisexuality as an orientation to sexuals, sexuals often mistake it as an admirable choice rather than an innate orientation. Demisexuals are not choosing to abstain; they simply lack sexual attraction until a close relationship is formed.?
Reading about this was a revelation to me. I previously knew only about asexuality, and while I do believe that sexuality is fluid and can change both back and forth over time, I never realised that there was a gray zone to being asexual/sexual as well! (This was rather stupid of me, of course, but you know... I am allowed to be stupid, and I really enjoy learning that I've been stupid and uninformed, so that I can learn new things!)
For the longest time, both during my previous relationship and in between that and my current one, I identified as asexual. I suppose I still do, to a degree. I have a very low sex-drive. I've never masturbated in my entire life, because the few times I've tried, I've found that I gain no enjoyment from it what so ever. I've never understood one-night-stands (don't get me wrong here; I think it's perfectly fine to have one-night-stands, if you enjoy them - and do so in a safe way!). I just... never felt the need to have sex for the sake of having sex. Whether it was with myself or someone else, it wasn't enjoyable for me. I do feel sexual attraction, but no need to act on it.
Unless it's with the right person.
I enjoy making someone I love feel good. I enjoy them enjoying my body. I enjoy sex with Mattias because I love being close to him, sharing that intimacy, and he awakens a sex drive in me that I haven't experienced since the beginning of my teenage years both my mind and body was trying to figure out who I was.
This "figuring out who I am" is turning out to be a life-long mission, I can tell. Isn't that exciting?! This week, I learned that I am demisexual, with high amounts of sexual attraction but a low sex-drive. I also know that I am still panromantic, bisexual, with a leaning towards being androgynosexual.
Source: http://nigete.livejournal.com/80838.html
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